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GIFTING

by wakinyi
written by wakinyi

I visited a long-time mentor a few days back. It had been a while, so I was a bit worried over what to bring. The worry was partly because this mentor has always showed up with a gift for the few or many times we have interacted over the years. I felt it would be completely uncourteous of me to have nothing. I think embracing a culture of gifting is something we must be deliberate about and practise it over time. Just like giving, if you do not do it as often, or if you assume that you belong in the category of have nots and therefore should not be expected to give, that mentality will live on with you. And when your cup starts overflowing, you will still find it difficult to give because it is not a habit which already exists in you. I have always been vocal about giving and how it is not a preserve of specific people, feel free to check out my previous posts on the topic.

Deciding on what to gift can be difficult, especially where not sure of the taste and preference of your host. In fact, some people generally advise to gift cash tokens or gift vouchers which is not something I fully ascribe to, but I don’t it mind either provided the host prefers the same. I prefer spending time and finding a meaningful gift rather than cash unless the occasion calls for it. Finding a thoughtful physical item to present or a thoughtful card with a beautiful message would probably be the way to go for me. I like to see gifts as memory pieces. A few years back a friend gifted me a water bottle and it was one of the most thoughtful gifts I have received in a while – okay maybe I don’t receive gifts that often so don’t be quick to wonder. I love it because it reminds me of her wherever I go. I try to use it as often as I can. In general, I try to use or keep items presented to me as a gift for as long as they can last. I see them as a treasure that must forever last. Maybe it is a weakness, I don’t know. That’s just who I am.

As I was not too sure what to gift my host, I decided to drop by another mentor’s shop round the block. She runs a gift shop. I knew I wouldn’t go wrong by visiting an expert in matters gifting. I had limited time to get something thoughtful enough. One of the questions this expert asked me was whether I had anything particular in mind. No, I was clueless, all I knew was that I was looking for something thoughtful. In fact, I visited her shop hoping she would sort out my limbo situation. We had a brief conversation which also provided insights on the art of gifting. I left the shop a few minutes late but feeling better as a person. I was more enlightened on how to go about gifting in readiness for when the next occasion arises.

Here are a few tips worth reminding:

  1. Gifting does not have to be a struggle; it is the thought that counts. As easy as it may sound, we often find ourselves struggling with what to get our loved ones, colleagues, or guests. If you must know, I ended up settling for a very simple gift, but thoughtful, or so I felt. In part, it spoke to my persona and the things that matter to me, which I wish to share with others. Sometimes we simply need to create a story behind whatever it is we are gifting in such a way that it rings a bell. It is also advisable to avoid going too much into taste specific items unless very sure of what your host would like. The only times I have not struggled to get gifts is when visiting my parents and guardians because I know what they would prefer or need. The rest of the time it is always a gamble.
  2. Gifting does not have to be expensive. I think this is important especially when choosing a gift for a host or people that potentially have ‘everything they need’. You can be left unsure of what would work for them. In the past I have avoided gifting the so termed ‘have it all society members’ for fear that I might gift something either too cheap or unnecessary. If you must know, the gift I ended up buying costed half the budget. So don’t sweat it trying to get something expensive, especially if you cannot afford it. Try find something simple but authentic as best works for your pocket. It will do the magic.
  3. Think of a gift as a memory masterpiece. With that, best is to select something the recipient can see every other day. It can be kept tiny to ensure it is not another extra clutter add into somebody’s space. If you think about it this way, you will realize that you may not have to struggle too much getting a token piece that simply reminds the recipient of the impact they have made in your life which is often what lifetime mentors do. There was a point in time when I was crazy about assorted travel fridge magnets. It’s an interest borrowed from a friend during by graduate school years. So, for those who travel often, there you have it. A gift might be as simple as something grabbed from a souvenir shop for less than 10 bucks. Again, this depends on the recipient so a bit of knowledge on to whom the gift is intended matters.
  4. You can never go wrong with a fresh pot plant. Maybe I am saying this as the self-acclaimed lover of plants. But I did realize that a well thought plant species is a good piece of gift. In general, most homes and spaces are shifting to green spaces. So, depending on where you are, it could be a gift worth considering if visiting a home. Have it nicely decorated, and you are good to go!
  5. A basket of fresh fruits is still a thing. That’s right! As you know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. If you have time and can get quality assorted fruits, especially for those who live in the urban areas, that works. Just don’t overbuy because it can be overwhelming especially if you do not have background knowledge on whether your host likes fruits or not. Strangely, there are people who do not like fruits that much. I wonder how. But it is what it is, we must respect preferences.
  6. Is a bottle of wine a good idea? What I learned is that it is disrespectful to assume your host takes wine just because you do. This applies to any other alcoholic drink. Unless you know your host well enough, avoid.  You might be tempted to try it because we see it on TV shows more often and imagine it is the norm. For close friends it might be worth the dare, because you spend time together and know what works each other. The same cannot be said otherwise, plus age is also an important factor to consider here. Don’t pull this card if visiting older mentors and the likes. Again, respect of our diversity and cultural preferences is important – we cannot all be the same, but we do have qualities that bring us together.

Until the next post, happy gifting!

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Culture

An experience of the Maasai culture (2)

by wilkista
written by wilkista

  • Food & meals
If you ask any Kenyan what the Maasai eat, you will get a lot of “meat and milk answers” and “blood” sometimes. I am not about to deny any of these answers. But here is what I saw and learnt:
In the morning, breakfast is white tea. The tea has plenty of milk in it (given milk isn’t a nightmare for most community members here anyway). There is not any Maasai whom I came across who takes black tea. It is actually viewed as a sign of extreme poverty to enjoy a cup of black tea. Albeit, there are kids here who do not know anything like black tea. While there, I   I was confronted severally about taking hot water with sugar; not tea. People barely realize that tea is the tea leaves, not the combination of milk and water.
Nobody worries about breakfast “escort”. Most people take at least 2 cups of white tea with nothing. There is no worry of buying bread, or preparing sweet potatoes or mandazi etc for breakfast, because it is normal to have the tea with nothing! This was quite unique to me. In my community people only take tea with nothing if there is no money or means to get the escort. For us, it is not a choice to have a breakfast of tea only, it is a circumstance.
I was at home rarely for lunch, but for the very few times I was present, and from my interaction with the community members, I learn’t that the Maasai do not prepare ugali for lunch most of the time. Even in my former high school, we never had ugali for lunch as it is considered too heavy a meal for an afternoon. For lunch, the typical meals are: rice, potatoes, matoke, githeri, beans, pumpkin and green grams. There may be a few people who prepare ugali for lunch, but in my host house there was not a single day that ugali was the meal served for lunch.
Having said ugali is not a typical meal for lunch, this may have sounded like the community doesn’t like it. Well, that is not true! The Maasai do actually like ugali very much! It is “the meal for dinner”. To prove that, I noticed my host family prepared ugali every single night of my stay except for 2 nights. And asking Naserian, she would tell me she has to eat ugali at night or chapatti as the alternative….no other meal! It is believed that ugali gives people enough strength to take them through the night to the next morning. Any other meal would literary wake people out of slumber in the course of the night.  I am not about to complain or judge this mentality. Usually, the ugali is prepared with very nice tasting vegetables. I loved pumpkin leaves vegetables of all the vegetables I ate, they are very delicious and usually had a tinge of milk/cream in them. This makes the whole meal balanced.
A cup of fresh or fermented milk every day is a routine in the Maasai community. For those who have enough cows to supply milk, everyone gets to enjoy a cup of milk every evening (I believe) as they relish the meal of ugali. I noticed that even the local boarding schools will strive to provide students with a cup (or half cup) of milk once a week as part of the schools’ meal. Milk is therefore a signature delicacy of the community. I am still tempted to think that is part of the secret behind most Maasai children leading a healthy life. They rarely experience protein deficiency diseases.
I learn’t that in as much as the community owns plenty of livestock, they do not slaughter them every now and then nor do they feed in meat always for that matter. During communal occasions, large cows would however be slaughtered. Save for the occasions, meat is not an “everyday” meal as stereotyped by most of us about the Maasai.
  • Greetings verbally/non verbally.
The non-verbal greeting

Growing up, my mom always reminded us to greet the elderly. Anytime we had visitors, we were expected to drop whatever chore we were doing, walk to the living room and greet the visitors before embarking. Every child is raised up to respect older people, and more greet them. It has never been an elderly greeting a child, it is the other way round. The common salutation style is a hand shake.
In the Maasai community, younger people bow to  “blessed” by the elderly as a form of greeting. I call this the “blessing method of greeting”. My first encounter with the greeting was when a colleague and I were strolling. We came across a group of elderly people and she signaled that we should greet them. I went ahead to give a hand-shake only to notice that my friend was “receiving a blessing!” I was very curious to know why she/they did that! In Uganda, ladies get down on their knees when greeting elderly men. Almost a similar culture is in Tanzania where women stoop a bit while greeting the elderly. In Kenya, we probably have some of these greeting cultures but not in my community. While in Enoosaen, I would feel great and important every time children presented their heads so I could greet them. As long as one is older than the second party, he/she is culturally allowed to ‘bless’ the second party.
Personally, I think greetings by “blessings” are a lot more fun, courteous and “healthier” than plain handshakes. This should be the way to go!
The verbal greetings
In the Maasai culture, men and women have a different phrase used to greet either party. I recall the phrase used when greeting a lady because it is what I was accustomed to. Saying hello as “Takwenya” to a lady and getting a reply of “ikoo” from her is not the unique part of the culture. The unique part is ‘from whom and to whom the greeting is directed in relation to the age difference’. In this case, the older person (man or woman) takes the initiative to say “Takwenya” to the lady. And the younger party (a lady) responds by saying “ikoo”. Again, I was very curious to know why it had to be an older person saying Takwenya  when our African culture expects a younger person to greet the older one. This is the reason I was given, ‘if you translate Takwenya into English or Swahili, it conveys a meaning similar to hello or habari (which thereby makes it right for anyone to say hello). However, in the Maasai language, it doesn’t quite portray a similar meaning literally. It actually comes out a little rude for a younger person like me to say Takwenya to my mom/dad or uncle/aunt or an older neighbor.
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Culture

An experience of the Maasai culture

by wilkista
written by wilkista

        The Maasai are one of the Nilotic communities of Kenya. Historically, they are famous for their “traditional dance”, unique fabric & clothing usually comprising beaded items such bangles and necklaces. Most Maasai wear are very unique such that one would easily notice them from a crowd of varied African regalia. I once attended a conference that brought together at least 70 African cultures and I wasn’t surprised when our Maasai participant from Tanzania seemed to be noticed and admired by all. She had worn a dress and jewellery inspired by the Maasai culture; everyone wanted to have a photograph with her!
        It is not only the dressing and jewellery that identifies a community’s culture, we also need to learn the general lifestyles of a people; their likes and dislikes if at all we are going to survive in a new environment. For the month I was away on volunteer, I would come to interact with a famous culture, the Maasai culture. I choose to call them the “Maasai of Enoosaen”. There are 3 groups of Maasai (as I learnt) and all of them cover the larger Narok county of Kenya. From’s a Maasai’s tribal name, one can distinguish which of the 3 Maasai communities the speaker come from.
I believe the culture I met during my month stay in Enoosaen cuts across most (if not all) the Maasai:
  • Dressing
Decency has always been a guiding principle when dressing. It is emphasized in most African traditions that women must wear something decent. By decent they mean “a long dress or skirt for the women”. As mentioned earlier, the Maasai have very unique wear. They have drawn attention globally by their amazingly beautiful “shukas, jewellery and Maasai sandles”. I like clothes made out of Maasai fabric. I do not own one yet, but I will soon. I have 5 different shukasmade out of Maasai fabric though. 
While interacting with the community, I realized that women are expected to wear dresses or skirts, not trousers. Women need to look feminine. Depending on the family where somebody comes from, they may have the liberty to wear trousers or not. You will notice women wearing a cloak usually of Maasai fabric. Young girls too love to rock it in a cloak when it gets cold. I found this amazing. I think men too do wear a cloak, but I didn’t notice it much as I did for women. What most people use as a “Maasai blanket” is well thrown back over the back and knotted at the neck bone to form the cloak. 
  • Livestock keeping
Usually, I have known the Maasai as pastoralists; they  own lots of cows, sheep, goats and any other livestock. And they own this in very large numbers. I never knew how large is large until I saw it. For a single family, there can be at least 50 cows, 100 sheep and goats! To me this is rather unique given in my community (Luo), unless somebody is a “serious” livestock farmer, you wouldn’t find these kind of figures on livestock keeping. For the Maasai, it is a common thing. And the animals are very healthy meaning the breeders know their work. This is expected for a community that has practiced the same activity for over 2 decades. The most surprising bit to me was the fact that “each of the cows has a name; and they are known by these names! For the goats and sheep, the count is right on the finger tips, any new member would easily be noticed from a far!” It was exciting to see young children (who role play as herders) know all their animals, herd size notwithstanding
  • Gender roles in the community
Have you ever seen Maasai herders visit Nairobi in search of greener pastures for their livestock? It is always men doing this work. This is one of the men’s roles in the community; they are the herders.
I had never quite exactly known who milks the cows. In my community, usually men, or boys milk the cows. But there are cases where girls (or women milk too). This happens occasionally, not always especially if men are in the homestead. In the Maasai community, it is the women who milk the cows! Most of the time always. This is one of their roles, they know it is. Young girls would therefore learn how to milk and help their mothers. I found that something new.
Young boys take the flock to graze. They would typically do this all day long and bring the animals back home in the evening for the women to milk them. With education a key priority of the government today, the Maasai are not left out. Young boys will therefore go to school during the week and spend the weekend as “herds’ boys”.
I didn’t figure out the exact role of young girls in the community; the very young ones spent most of their time playing. Those that are of age help out with cooking, cleaning utensils and housekeeping. A young boy may help with cookery, but that only happens before he becomes a “Moran”. Once morans, you will never easily catch them entering the kitchen to cook! They don’t spend time in the kitchen at all. It is however men’s role to slaughter and cook animal meat. Usually, men do the slaughtering in most communities while women would do the cooking. But here was a new culture; that where men do both!

(part 1)

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Culture

Heading on a volunteer program? List of items to carry… (continued )

by wilkista
written by wilkista

4.    Drinking water & water bottle.
I never carried water myself, neither did I drink much of it over the month I was in Enoosaen. Water is life, we need it. And we need to consume clean, safe water. If you are lucky to stay with a good host family like I did, you will get clean water. But sometimes, communities have survived consuming non potable water. Never should your conscience swindle you to drink such water without boiling. Just because it works for the locals doesn’t mean it will not cause havoc in your system. I used to buy distilled water every time I was away from home. You may not be lucky to get a shop where you can buy bottled water, so best have your water bottle with you, and carry clean safe water from home every morning. Or, you can buy bottled water in plenty and travel with it so you can drink it always. 
       5.   Toiletries
Once I traveled to the US with a friend, and she never carried bathing soap/gel. She had imagined we would be getting these supplies in the host college. Turns out she was wrong!  I always carry my own bathing soaps, washing soaps and disinfectant whenever traveling. These items should be carried in plenty. You’d rather have extra than less. Other toiletries never to be left out are: wet hand wipes and toilet rolls.  And with these; extra is best, never exact as it may be less. 
      6.       Pain killers / simple first aid kit
Before traveling, I was feeling quite unwell, perhaps that was anxiety. I called my mom who happens to be a nurse and asked her whether I should swallow drugs prior. She warned against taking medication if I wasn’t unwell. But she reminded me to carry some medication with me; malaria tabs, pain killers and antibiotics. I have always traveled with painkillers. But I realized that it is important to carry not only pain killers, but anti-allergy tabs and skin anti-allergy ointments. You may also carry Elastoplast and bandaging material, safety pins….simple first aid kit. 
 
     7.       Snacks & Drinks
I never want to carry snacks because they make me feel laden. There are people who however can’t do without light snacks every once in a while. You may buy healthy snacks such as nuts and pack them in your bag to munch whenever hungry. If you are being hosted by a family, carry enough to share with all sometimes.
When it comes to drinks, I am not merely referring to soft drinks or fresh juices, I am also referring to beverages such as coffee, tea bags and chocolate.  I don’t take white tea nor fresh milk. In the Maasai community, almost everyone if not all takes white tea. That means if one doesn’t take white tea, you would need to prepare black tea separately. To save time, you can have hot water boiled for you (or boil it yourself) then add coffee, or chocolate, or tea bags or milo or horlick etc. So buy and carry what you prefer.
One can also carry morning cereals and canned proteins to eat in the morning. This will give you a good start of the day. I was lucky to stay in a home with plenty of home grown fruits (especially sweet bananas), otherwise you may get some fruits at a local market in the area. 
      8.       Electronics
Never forget your most precious electronics. And depending on the nature of work you do, you may need to carry your laptop with you or leave it behind. I hadn’t wanted to carry my laptop as I’d thought that would be too much burden on me. I like traveling light, I will always leave behind anything that would be contrary to that liking. For the one month I was away, this would turn out to be “the most precious” gadget I had…far more precious than my mobile phone. That sounds insensible perhaps, but it is the reality. With your laptop, you may be lucky to get access to power supply for charging, or a good solar connection that one can use to recharge.
Therefore, don’t believe behind any electronics you always love working with; your phone, your e-reader, laptop, camera, music player etc. But also don’t carry too much of this things, albeit the most handy ones should do. You are not heading to a community where your interpersonal relation matters. You don’t want to spend too much time on electronics when you should be bonding with people.
Ensure the security and proper care of all your electronics at all times.
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Culture

Heading on a volunteer program? Here’s a list of items to carry

by wilkista
written by wilkista

         I travelled to Enoosaen, a rural Maasai community village to volunteer with an organization called Kakenya’s Dream Organization. I was there for a month. I managed to gather up a list of some items that one should carry when heading to volunteer away from home. Before leaving Nairobi, I thought I had packed my bags well given I have been away camping before, hence packing would no doubt be the least of worries. I was forgetting one thing, I have never been away camping for more than a week. Not that volunteering is camping, but when you are heading out to volunteer and stay with a new community, in an entirely new place, it is good to be well prepared for anything. 
Usually, volunteers will be given prior information on what to expect. This happens especially for international volunteers visiting a new country and community. But even for local volunteers, don’t hesitate to ask should this information not be availed to you. Such basic information as local weather is important to help one in packing right for the period she/he is to be away. You need also inquire about the culture of the community (this I never did, but being a local, I had a good idea).
So now, just what should you make sure you have packed in your bag? The more informed of a place one is, the easier it is to pack right. 
  1.   A powerful torch and extra lighting batteries/chargeable torch or lamp:
 I never had plans to carry a torch. I picked one from my house while searching for my earphones. Not that I didn’t see it necessary to carry a torch, I felt it wasn’t as important. I didn’t therefore carry extra batteries for it. Moreover, it was a tiny pocket torch!
I arrived at my host family home at night. And the first thing I realized I needed was a torch! Lucky me, I had one. But unlucky me, it wasn’t going to last me the whole month! I would need more batteries. I ended up buying batteries every end week for the period I was in the village. This proved more expensive than buying them in Nairobi. In some communities, you may not find a place to purchase new batteries, therefore always carry your own torch; big and powerful with enough batteries to take you through the whole time.  Or better, how about you buy a solar chargeable torch and or lamp to use in the evenings should you want to read. I learn’t there are really good solar powered lamps that one can buy. My host family had quite a number of them. I believe they are not too expensive to acquire.
Also whenever you are heading out to the field/ work place every morning, be sure to carry your torch in your day back-pack. This I realized when it rained so heavily one evening that I couldn’t get home before dusk. I had to fumble my way through the mud in the night.  I almost snapped my leg at some point.  
  2. Shoe wear
It feels stupid having to list shoe wear, because everyone imagines they know what shoe to carry whenever traveling. I thought I knew that too! But now, I don’t think I was absolutely right. Usually when traveling, I pack a pair of sandals, canvas shoes (which I wear on the travel day) and an extra pair of flat/office shoe. Turns out the weather during the month of June didn’t favour my shoe wear at all.  I will exclusively write about weather at Enoosaen, but in a nut-shell, it was a rainy month with the roads a little muddy-to very muddy on most days.  
So what are the best shoes to carry?
  •          A pair of bathroom sandals are necessary. Don’t ever assume you will get them ahead by the fact that you are being hosted.
  •          A pair of heavy outdoor sandals. This you can wear in the evenings or during the weekends when taking short walks around.
  •         At least two pairs of daily closed shoes is encouraged. Some people feel comfortable walking in open shoes, some don’t. I am one of those people who rarely walk away from home in open shoes. I prefer closed shoes always. In a rainy season, you may get rained on, and therefore the need to have a shoes that you can switch during the week.
  •          Well-soled  sneakers or canvas shoes. This is necessary for a rainy season. But if you are advised by your trip planner that the period will not have major rainy events, then you can do away with this. However, it is advisable to be prepared for anything, you never know.

I had a rough time coping with 2 pairs of shoes; my flat shoes and the canvas shoes. I remember one day telling a colleague that “I would show up in sandals the following day should the other pair of shoes I had get soiled”. I kept mumbling each day that it wouldn’t rain too much to leave me pondering over what to wear. If you decide to carry shoes that will need polishing, then don’t forget to pack the respective shoe polish and brush. 

      3.      Clothing
Prior weather knowledge gives us a heads-up on what to pack. But weather changes, so best pack prepared for anything. I never wanted to carry a heavy sweater as I had been told the weather was “hot”. Fate would see me carry just one of this, I grabbed it on my way out to catch a shuttle as it was drizzling that morning. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have. The month of June would end up to be a period I wished to rewind just so I could get a chance to repack. I think I would have carried all my sweaters/jackets (I don’t own many of them by the way).
So what is it we need to carry when it comes to clothing?
  •         At least 2 heavy pull-overs /jackets. This will save you during the cold mornings or evenings and nights.
  •        A light sweater top may be good to walk around in during the day when it gets warm. I always carry one in my bag. I had one. It served as my hot/cold weather daily wear.
  •       A couple of heavy and light scarves. The heavy scarves are a saviour in the early morning cold. The light scarves can be worn even on a warm day.
  •          Warm evening clothes; I always prefer a pair of warm leggings and heavy shirt. But in a new community, I think a warm pair of baggy trousers (such as track suit) can do.
  •          A pair of woollen gloves and several pairs of socks are necessary. I sleep in socks all the time. My feet usually get very cold in the night. But for those of us who don’t suffer from cold feet, you still need to carry socks to wear when it gets too cold.
  •        Daily wear to work station. I would advise that one carries dark clothing. This has nothing to do with a phobia towards bright coloured clothes, no it doesn’t!  If you are heading to a new place; rural, and you are ignorant on the soil type and the nature of roads, then best carry clothes that would be easier to work with in very dusty places. This will save you time when doing your laundry (and for those who wear jean trousers twice before washing, dark colors can better serve that need).
  •          A rain coat that is easy to pack would be a plus. Carry it daily in your back-pack. If not, make sure you have an umbrella which may be more inconveniencing to carry than a plastic rain coat. 

In the Maasai culture, I learn’t that it is decent when a lady wears dresses or skirts. This doesn’t mean ladies shouldn’t wear trousers, but it is good practice to occasionally wear clothes considered “feminine” as a way of affirming one’s understanding and respect for the local culture. 

            (to be continued…)
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