The Gender Equity Debate

One of my most profound reads of 2023 was the book ‘I’m too pretty to be broke’ by Kenyan author Joan Thatiah. I bought it by chance while at a bookshop in search of something else. It was a natural pick as the title got me curious to unravel what the author had to say about beauty and broke-ness. I particularly enjoyed chapter 3 which talks about the myth of shared womanhood. In it, Joan points out valid questions regarding gender equity and misinterpretation. For example, she questions the rationale behind organizing of women’s only events when the issues to be discussed are professional in nature and not necessarily women specific. While the author is a strong supporter of gender equity, she faults the society’s creation of spaces that do not promote inclusion. In her opinion, women empowerment forums where women interact with women alone are not effective for the long term.

This post is however not about Joan’s book, which I would encourage to read. Today’s thoughts are about a recent incidence from which I felt a sense of resonation with what the books says.  I happened to have visited a government office in need of a public service. As is typical of our government offices, the queues can be rather long depending on the nature of service. If you are lucky enough you might be served within 2 hours – or it can easily turn into a whole day affair on the bad days. It took me at least 4 hours of waiting – standing in the scorching sun to be precise. You can imagine how annoying that is for a citizen who probably has other prying needs to be accomplished before sunset. I speak for those of us who depend on casual/informal jobs to earn a daily wage. An hour lost, or a day of no work literally translates into sleeping in an empty stomach.

As I patiently waited on the queue, which was seemingly not moving for nearly 2 hours, I was treated to a typical case of misuse of the womanhood card. It was slightly after midday. The sun was at full blast, so much that it did feel like a punishment – one which we must unfortunately endure in pursuit of government services – notwithstanding the fact that we religiously pay taxes in the hopes of experiencing improved mechanisms in delivery of public services someday.  A young lady walked in and took a quick glance at the long queue. Perhaps for fear of the scale and breath of getting her pretty skin ‘broken’ by the sun, she confidently walked straight up to the service counter passing hundreds of fellow citizens who were mercilessly burning in the sun. At the counter, she beckoned one of the officers to ask if women could be served first. Her reason? Women had left children at home who needed their attention. The officer, wary of the storm that would emanate from such an already agitated crowd, calmly advised the lady to consult the crowd and if in agreement, women would be served first. And so, this lady boldly walked back and asked the million-dollar question (which I like to believe was her biggest regret of that day).

Friends, pulling a gender card only when convenient for you is simply a NO in this day and era.

There was a huge backlash, especially by the men, some had been there for nearly half a day. While they recognized that there are scenarios where preferential treatment should be granted, such as pregnant women, the elderly, sick or disabled persons – this woman’s case did not seem to fit the exemptions criteria – at least going by what could be seen. Hers was simply a case of a woman, a slay queen if I can put it that way, knowingly showing up for a government service late and expecting to capitalize on her womanhood for own convenience. I happened to be standing amidst several men and could see rage renting the air. So much that one man asked me what I thought about this lady’s stunt. In their eyes, it was ironical that the society talks about women empowerment, and the narrative about ‘what a man can do, a woman can do better’, yet this very same women are quick to shamelessly seek preferential treatment by virtue of being women. I chose to withhold my opinion and stayed mute.

As I walked away later, having been served after more than 4 hours of waiting (standing in the sun or leaning against a wall if you were lucky), I couldn’t help but wonder why some women apply double standards (or is it the affirmative card?) only when it suits them. Is it right? Here’s what I think,

As we women talk about women empowerment, we should exercise a level of dignity and mutual respect for fellow human beings while at it. The fact that you are a woman should not automatically earn you a ticket to show up late somewhere and expect preferential treatment at the inconvenience of other people.

Until the next post, happy moments rethinking or reshaping the gender equity debate!