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familyfriendshipsinspiration

Nuggets of Wisdom – 2

by wakinyi April 29, 2025
written by wakinyi

Until recently, it had been a while since I spent ‘quality time’ with the special mother figures granted to me in my childhood years. If you have been reading my blog posts then you might be aware of what I am talking about. If you haven’t, worry not – the long story short is the universe was kind to bless me with the gift of a special friend of my biological mom’s and an auntie who have been there for me over the years – as advisors, parents and cheerleaders. These are probably the only two people I take a minute to mumble a short word of blessing over their lives every morning – because I sometimes get too lazy to ‘pray’. But when I remember that I am blessed to have two mothers who, by the way, are very prayerful people – the type who pray before meals, before bedtime, first thing in the morning or any other opportunity, the least I can do really is declare a blessing over their lives – nothing complicated. I like to think it is because of these ladies that I am always ready and set to face anything that the world throws at me, stand up tall and speak boldly without a blink of an eye.

It is often said that we should create time for the people we cherish, because once gone we cannot take it back.

But many are the times we trade off materialism to actual time spent with loved ones – I am a victim of the same so will take this bullet as well. Coincidentally as I was browsing my Linked-In feed earlier this morning, I came across a post by a CEO of a certain company who, together with the employees have established a culture of visiting each other’s parents back in the countryside. You can tell from the pictures that the parents for whom the most recent visitation had been done were overjoyed and no amount of money can buy that kind of happiness. Reading this post reminded me of the one time a group of friends and I decided to do an almost similar thing in 2023 and visited a friend’s parent in the countryside. The feeling was phenomenal. We haven’t done anything like that thereafter in part because friendships change with time which is a normal thing so don’t beat yourself too hard if your past friendships don’t seem to be working anymore no matter how much effort you plough in. I think I have also written a few things about the subject of friendship evolution in a past post, can’t remember which post it was unfortunately. I do occasionally come across healthy friendship relations in work circles or newspaper articles full of inspiration on how to invest in working networks and keep the flame burning throughout your lifetime.

Time with loved ones is precious and priceless. It brings a certain level of satisfaction – unprecedented. You indulge in nuggets of wisdom shared in a rather subtle way via regular conversations. For example, I remember one evening when we found ourselves talking about families who lived under very difficult situations in a nearby informal settlement, the struggles they went through daily such as no food to eat or a decent home to sleep. However, these families were happy to be alive and kicking through each day. In yet a different conversation we spoke about staying with one employer throughout one’s entire working lifetime because in our generation this would be difficult – but is something our old folks easily up managed until retirement. It is hard to achieve the kind of satisfaction or shall I say complacency to stay in the same place for decades. We are always looking for new challenges and opportunities, albeit elsewhere whether the present environment is conducive or not. So how exactly did they do it? I don’t have a specific answer to this question, but part of the advice received was on the importance of first identifying what your big picture or goal in life is. If your current work environment allows you to get there, then you adapt and live through it despite the obstacles.

But learning is not restricted to conversations, as we know, actions speak louder than words. There are times when learning points can be found through simple gestures e.g. grooming moments over light banters or catching up while preparing meals and learning a cooking tip that somehow skipped you while growing up. Finally, the quality of air we breathe while at the countryside is healing. And if you come from extremely hot areas, growing of plenty of trees to make your surroundings cooler and fresher is a cherry on top. Not to forget fruit trees.

Until the next post, happy moments creating quality time with your parents or loved ones.

April 29, 2025 0 comment
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familyfriendshipspositivitytributes

(Part 3): Here’s to family who always show up!

by wilkista April 19, 2021
written by wilkista

 

This was a rather ‘hard’ piece to write. Not because I am short of words nor ideas. But because I am truly and immensely touched by the support, commitment and personal energy put by certain family members; it is extraordinary! No amount of money nor gold could ever be enough to thank them. If coins of different materials and faces were to be raffled – you can only wish that the shiny golden coin will be their lucky pick.

Many are the times that we are told to treasure family, because they will be there for you through the thick and the thin. Over the years, however, I have come to learn that: families, both nuclear and extended, exist in different moods, level of energy, character, friendship and support towards us. I will highlight a few types, there are probably more out there. We learn each new day.  

There is the family members type one who will be there for you no matter what – they do not only make effort to be physically and emotionally there for you; they always show up! Regardless of the tides and seasons, they are simply there providing the perfect shoulder of solace. There energy and level of support is on another level. When paired to work with them, you ask yourself if you could ever fit into such shoes – these guys are simply ablaze. I prefer to call them ‘presentmaniacs’ but feels this is a bit of an understatement because the word energy needs to feature somewhere within that title.  There are no reminders needed that you must appreciate them. Count them in as you count your blessings one by one.

There is another family type who are there for you – in both the good and the bad times as well. Unfortunately, they may not be able to physically show up due to constraints within or beyond their control. However, the aura and depth of virtual presence they accord resonates so deep that they would almost qualify as the present maniacs – they show up differently. I will call them the ‘virtualmaniacs’. These are the type that will suddenly have you sorted out at a time when times are tough all around you and all hope seems gone. There words of encouragement run deeper than water in the seas. For they are blessed with a positive tongue and will use it for your good.  Again, no reminder needed to do the least expected – appreciate them.

This is for the family members who show support behind the scenes but in a different kind of way. They are the quiet people who prefer not to be seen or heard but still stand with you. As some would say, they prefer their privacy. They are like angels who stay guard watching over you and say a prayer with you. You may never get to realize that they have been there with and for you all the while. But they are! You are in their thoughts always. Do not forget to be grateful for them. For your act of gratitude means more than you can ever imagine.

Then there is the laissez–faire type who are basically the hands-off people. They leave you alone and let you be which is not a bad thing at times. Because we sometimes find ourselves in situations where all we want is me, myself and I to deal with it. On the downside, these are dangerous people to have and consider as family simply because of blood relations. They might spare a minute or so to listen to what you have to say but move on thereafter with their lives as though you said nothing, and nothing happened. There are times where this nature of reaction is borne out of past experiences which may be understandable. Don’t spend too much energy trying to stress over it, for history cannot be changed – it remains a constant like change itself. When it comes to gratitude, we must always remain grateful. So yes – whether sore or sour, be grateful for this type of relations.

Life allows us to experience varieties including family variances. Family is important and comes handy at your darkest moments. As it is said, blood is thicker than water.  But I wish to throw a spanner in the works and dare say, ‘water can metaphorically be thicker than blood’. This is me being crazy, right? Find out why the spanner may be useful on my next post.  

 

This piece is in honor of family, extended and nuclear, who dedicate their time, energy or resources to be there for you always. Because family means more than the genetic ties. For actions speak louder than words. And family should be there for each other.

 

April 19, 2021 1 comment
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A collection from the 2013 diary.

by wilkista December 22, 2013
written by wilkista

One of the very few blog posts I’ve done this year was a piece on “a resolution less year”. I will not forget putting my thoughts down to emphasize that there is no such thing as having a new year without resolutions, because when we choose not to have a plan, then there is always the plan which is “not having a plan.!”.  I’d thought that wasn’t just going to be another blog by me, but more of a wake-up call that I needed to sit down and veraciously reflect on what exactly I wanted to do with my new year. And of course with a lot of phobia around 13, triskaidekaphobia, I set out to have a year in my life where for once I would live without thinking too much about the next day. I wanted to see and know what it feels like to have no resolutions and live a life of gratification after all is said and done. I think that marked the point where I got it all wrong. I may have lived through the year, but after scoring a 31% in a methodology I devised for myself (as a rudimentary way of testing and re-analyzing oneself or appraising one’s overall performance for a year), I wonder how I even made it through the year without a burn-out.!
Yes, I scored a 31 %! May be I was too hard on my assessment, or maybe I haven’t incorporated the right parameters in my “index”. Well, I can always get a zillion reasons to raise my score to at least a 60%. Thanks to my best friend Carol for reminding me just the other day that I need to start putting down my 2014 resolutions. And I did it…3 days letter, perhaps out of a huge sense of guilt that ailed in me for leading such an awkwardly planned year. There were high times cum the good times which I cannot overlook, but I would say those were highly galvanized by the friends and focused folks around me.
How about taking a quick look into the year that was 2013. With  just about a week to cross over into 2014, which I so anxiously look forward to, because I want to better my score, and have an easier time coming to terms with what I will score, God-willing, should we cross into 2015.
January 2013 sneaked in on a terrible note for me and my family. Losing my all-time favorite uncle and dad, Uncle Martin on the 8th of January was a low moment for us. Seeing my aunt and her kids more heart- broken more than I, and quarrels erupting over the wake of the funeral wasn’t the kind of send-off we’d wanted for such a respectable man in the community. But that is what we got, a bad scene of hate marauding a peaceful family. I felt scathed that my aunt Monica had to endure all that drama. And I ended up getting into bad terms with part of our larger extended family for what I believed was a betrayal to our family. I haven’t spoken to the “betrayers” to this very date. And maybe I never will, unless they visit my aunt to make an honest apology for the shameful act they did. Later in the month on 11 January we would have the first ever “Presidential debates night in Kenya”, an event organized by the media houses in Kenya. It was an eye-opening forum for Kenyans to see how knowledgeable to issues affecting our community the aspirants were. I remember catching the show at the comfort of my hostel TV room alongside other students each with a different opinion but all of us bonded by the love for our mother country. The environment subject wasn’t particularly given attention and I wasn’t happy. 
February saw me set my feet in the land of a thousand hills in the heart of Africa, Rwanda. I’d always wanted to see Rwanda, the beautiful people and the rich culture. And I got nothing short.  I would later do a blog of my trip (which forms the short list of the very few posts I made in the year). And it was an honor meeting the then executive director of FAWE Africa, MS. Oley a Gambian intellectual who has noticeably stood out for her contribution towards the education of girls across the continent.
December 22, 2013 0 comment
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Wilkista Akinyi
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